Cbox Crack
by Iwamoto Yuri
Summary: This is what happens when you decide to write a fic with the members of the DCTP Cbox. Epic weirdness included!  Thanx to AnonX and Mysteriousperson!


Takagi sat in the breakroom, hands around a cup of goat milk (because Satou said it's healthier). It tasted... goat-y. Which was not, strictly speaking, an unpleasant taste, infact, since the murder at the petting zoo Takagi had found himself unable to resist the fresh aroma of goats. Suddenly his phone vibrated, waking him up out of a daydream involving Satou with goat horns.

It was a mail from Yumi.

"lol tkg wana go out 4 sum karaoke yh boii we kno how 2 do it u n m3 n satou all nite lawwwng"

...She was obviously drunk.

Takagi sighed, that was the third time this week, maybe he should have said something about it the last time when he had to drive her home because she had been unable to do it herself.

He chugged the last of his milk (he preferred it a little fresher, but this was the station...), and went to find his partner.

They stepped into Satou's kick-ass FD when they met at last (Satou in the driver's seat, Yumi drunkenly sprawled out on the ones in the back.) Takagi sat nervously in the passenger seat, his heart pounding like a jackhammer. No, it was just Yumi kicking the seat, murmuring something about fried chicken and jellyfish.

...How much did that woman drink?

Satou tore down the road at breakneck speed, knowing the exact location of her favourite karaoke parlor by heart, and Takagi held onto his seatbelt for dear life. At that moment, Yumi reached over from behind and pushed their heads together.

"You two look sho cute togezer... KISSSSSSHHH!" Yumi muttered, falling off the backseat when Satou took a turn to the left. Thanks to her drunken antics, the car hit a wall and almost crushed a family of seven ducks.

Satou stopped the car, concerned about her precious FD, while Takagi nursed a sizable bump._ "Good to know I'm loved..." _He thought sarcastically.

As he thought that Yumi leaned forward and puked over his shoes, making him jump back nearly hitting his head again, but a little too late as his shoes where now a dirty brown colour. _"That's just great...My YumixSatou fantasies are ruined now..." _

He took off his shoes and got out of the car to find Satou hugging her FD and whispering "...it's ok...it's ok..."

He looked at the car. It was definatly_ not_ okay... The front fender was smashed so bad, it was a miracle they weren't seriously hurt...

He was trying to get Satou off her car when out of nowhere a bright light shines down on them, and Takagi feels like he is being pulled in all directions at once.

Spacer-thingy

When he regains consciousness, he finds himself in a strange box.

"TAKAGI!"

He turns only to be tackled by a faceless entity who seems to be wearing a shirt with "AnonX" on it.

"Wha...? Where am I? Where's Satou-san?"

Suddenly, the entity (whom he decided to call Anon for lack of anything better), explodes! He covers his head, trying to shield himself from the blast, but surprisingly, he finds that he is not hurt, and not alone.

A girl with brown curly hair and face stared at him, muttering: "Awesome..." before she took out a wand and tapped the remains of Anon, thereby reviving the entity. "You know, you should work on that Anon~"

"I know..." Anon replies, dusting him(?)self off.

Takagi stared at the two in shock, not believing his eyes. The girl seemed to notice this and turned around to him, "Ignore Anon, he always dies in one way or another~"

She hopped over to him, "I'm Yuri~ Nice to meet yah, Takagi-kun~!"

"Yeah, she's Yuri, but not yuri..." Anon says with obvious sadness... and is immediately shot.

"Yuri as in lily yeah... But Takagi-kun isn't stupid Anon..." Yuri sished, facepalming, "But honestly, you should try to stay alive for once..." suddenly she pulled out a mountain of chocolate chip kookies.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!" Anon sings before being crushed by a giant rock.

"Is it that hard?" Yuri handed Anon a cookie after she revived him again, turning to Takagi again.

"You mentioned Satou?" Anon asks after eating his cookie.

"...uh...Yeah, Do you...people?...know where she is?" Takagi asks, clearly confused and looking very cute.

Yuri frowned, "Well, I know a Shinichi and a Conan, also saw Kaito, Vodka and Ran... but never heard of someone named Satou before... Are you new to the Cbox?" She replied, smiling at Takagi.

"...Cbox?"

"Yes, the Cbox is where we are." Anon motions tward the box-like room they were in, which was currently on fire, though Takagi didn't feel any heat.

"MOURI RAN! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SETTING THE CBOX ON FIRE!" Anon yells before taking off after a laughing female figure.

Yuri sighed again, "I wish I could meet Hattori..." she muttered, jumping up as someone dressed in a toga walks in, "Canary-kun!" She immediately glomped the figure who sent her an annoyed glance.

"Careful, I'm still small..." He turned to Takagi and asked, "Who are you?"

"Takagi Wataru." Takagi replied, "Who are you?"

"Well despite my current form I am He Who Marks the March of Madness. The Final Toll of Sanity. Harbinger of That Without Form Which Consumes All. I am **_Benito God of Insanity_**. Welcome to the Cbox new person."

Takagi's head was spinning. Where the heck was he? _The Cbox, duh. The better question is how you're gonna leave... Ok, think Takagi, how did you get here?_

**_"Log out" _**Benito's voice echoed through the Cbox. **_"If you want to leave just log out"_** he pointed at a small door in the corner of the box that had log out painted on it.

Takagi walked to the door and was almost there when he stopped. "Satou-san! I almost forgot about Satou-san!"

Yuri stared at him. "You're weird, you act like you're really Takagi Wataru... though most do the same..." She turned to Benito, "Is there a 'Satou' in the Cbox?"

"Kyuuketsuki would be a better person to ask." Anon replied as he returned. "But if you want to leave, I can summon her for you. I just need something of yours and something of hers."

"Really?" _Well, _Takagi thought_, it won't be the strangest thing I've seen today..._ He handed Anon his tie and Satou-san's hair pin he'd seen her drop a while ago.

Yuri sweatdropped, "And I thought I was the alien witch... Well, off to zerbox!" she swirled around, disappearing in a cloud of smoke, and when the smoke cleared she was gone.

"Yay!" Anon smiled and put the items in his pocket before muttering arcane formulas and drawing quantum squigglies in the air.

"Wait, if you didn't use them then why-" Takagi started to ask before being engulfed in smoke. When it clears, he finds Satou-san on the floor in front of him. "Satou-san!" Takagi rushed to his partners side and found her unconscious. Determined, he picked her up and "Logged out".

He first found himself in Kamen Yaiba and then the birds and the bees happened and they went to heaven and lived a long time until they went to hell where they lived even longer. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, (which it might have been...), Takagi and Satou found themselves home.

"What do you say we get some ramen and never speak of this again?" Satou asked, once again hugging her (miraculously fixed) FD.

"Like Megure's cat and the Conan thing?"

"Yep."

"Sounds good."

* * *

><p>Yuri: And here goes random cbox crack!<br>Anon: YAY!  
>Yuri: So, do you like writing Anon?<br>Anon: *explodes* :P  
>Yuri: ... You do that too often...<br>Anon: Actually, I don't really care for writing because I'm so bad at it...  
>Yuri: Naww~ Even writing crack?<br>Anon: crack can be difficult to write properly, just like any other genre. I've read some pretty bad Crack...  
>Yuri: ... Why don't you just explode again...<br>Anon: Why?  
>Yuri: Because the readers might like that!<br>Anon: Wait, you want to publish this conversation?  
>Yuri: That's where the rant is for... *finds this the most fun thing of stories*<br>Anon: So this is basically an authors note?  
>Yuri: ... yeah... I guess<br>Anon: ...*Explodes™*  
>Yuri: ... Well, readers... Keep reading...<br>Anon: Thank you to all our readers, I hope you enjoyed.  
>Yuri: The randomness might continue, IF YOU REVIEW!<br>Anon: Don't force them to review! I'm a reader who doesn't like to review...  
>Yuri: ... But it's my food...<br>Anon: Oh yeah, you authors need reviews to survive... *Is not an author*  
>Yuri: Well, let's wrap this up! *gets paper to do so*<br>Anon: Good idea.  
>Yuri: *sends Anon back to Cbox* Bye readers! *disappears*<p> 


End file.
